I want to share a few ways you can help others feel safer in the world, keeping in mind that you are constantly surrounded by people who have been through various kinds of traumas, big and little. Trauma survivors do not wear a sign announcing it; most survivors work, function, socialize, etc. So just assume everyone around you is a survivor. And that's not too far off from the truth... unfortunately.
Here are some ways you can contribute to creating a more trauma-informed, safe, respectful, conscientious and loving world:
1. Don't just hug someone or kiss them on the cheek without asking if it's ok first. Read the person's body language as well. Most will say "yes, it's ok" but their body language is showing you otherwise. Maybe they tense up when you ask them, or if you do hug or kiss them. Maybe their "yes" is not convincing and enthusiastic. Pay attention to body language.
2. If a person tells you they do not want a hug, a kiss on the cheek or even a handshake, do NOT ask why. Don't assume they are "cold" and not nice, loving or affectionate. Don't take it personally. Don't assume they are not happy to meet you, see you or talk with you.
3. Keep this in mind for friends of yours (and even romantic partners). Don't assume your friends/ partners don't need to be asked if it's ok to make physical contact. Feel free to talk with your friends, partners or coworkers about their preferences with touch; inquire and you will only learn more about the people in your life! (Again, don't ask for reasons or explanations. If the person wants to tell you they will!)
4. Allow people to say "no" sometimes and "yes" other times. Everyone feels different at different times. People are allowed to change their minds!
5. NEVER approach a person from behind and grab or touch them.
6. NEVER talk or scream out to a woman walking alone. Most women do not feel safe walking alone. And often are not safe walking alone.
7. Pay attention to how close you stand, sit or walk near a person. And pay attention to body language here. If someone keeps moving a bit further away when you're around them, turning away, avoiding eye contact, don't move closer to them! Respect their physical boundary.
I could add many more. But that's a good start to learning to respect others and not assuming that because you like to touch, be close or affectionate, or have strangers talk to you in the street when alone, that everyone else does.
*Last thing. Not everyone who prefers more physical space or less touching, have survived a horrific trauma, been sexually abused or have PTSD. Some people are just not into it! (Or not with everyone all the time.) We can all feel different at different times. And, we are all different; it's a beautiful thing!